Contact Coral PD

Need us? We're probably standing too close to the coffee pot.

Reach Out

If it’s not an emergency, and you just need to ask about parking violations, wandering banjo players, or if Assistant Chief Fish accepts fan mail—use the info below.

📞 Non-Emergency Line: 555-BEACH-PD

📬 Email: administration@coralpd.com

Phone Tree Options:

  • Press 1 for Officer Pretty Boy’s Beach Patrol Reports
  • Press 2 to file a noise complaint against the Raccoon Mafia
  • Press 3 if you’ve seen Assistant Chief Fish outside his tank
  • Press 4 to scream into the void (limited hours)

Disclaimer: Coral PD is a fictional law enforcement agency. This site is not affiliated with any real police department. It is based on true stories from law enforcement and fueled by an ongoing joke between a wife and her police chief husband. Please don't call us for actual crimes.